“I’d like to" Vs. "I’m capable of”

This idea is triggered by a daydream I was thinking of one day and making the whole scenario with all the possibilities of the scene…

“What –if X had declared it one day, and I was in a situation that I must respond to him either with acceptance or by refusal??” [Actually, X is a variable with an associated value that I won’t tell here]

I had remembered this day NOT in the middle of the mind refreshment process I’m experiencing nowadays through a period of remembering many quotes, events, places, and situations which I can’t justify why I remember those things specially nowadays; the only reasonable justification is that I’m preparing my mind to receive new records and entries of the new year after the evaluation process I passed through the last couple of months.

Back to the main topic; the real reason for remembering that daydream was the question Yasmine asked me last time we were together:”howa law X et2dem leeky twaf2y??” [I was astonished as she told the same scene I was imagining before, but unlike the previous version of my personality; I’m going to be cooler and I’ll tend not to make matches and fateful conclusions this time; specially that there would be no action resulting from any conclusion as the answer was in the daydream and to my friend’s question the same:”No, of course”… and also the justification was the same: “because he trusts no one… and I tend to be so, I believe I doubt each fact, person, word till the contrast is proven and sometimes nothing is never proven… even if I show that I’m welcoming anyone, any fact, any word…and he is also a nice actor of the same drama…[this wasn’t an installed feature on me; instead it is a result of a sequence of unpleasant beneficial facts, events I passed through and persons I stepped over]

I need someone to keep me safe or at least to make me feel safe and he doesn’t feel safe or secure; so how shall he give me what I need mainly in my life, while he doesn’t have?... he won’t be able to give me something he needs and can’t find as well…

To explain what I aim at more; let’s consider the scene of some guy surrounding a girl’s shoulder with his arms… there would be three possibilities for his intensions of doing so:

-The pure desire trigger [male/ female view]

-The pure love trigger [lover-to-lover view]

-The pure love/manhood trigger [mixed (lover/man)-to-(lover/woman) view]

Let’s bypass the interpretation of the scene as it is out of scope here and analyze the remaining two scenes,

The masculine lover in the second scene was offering love and protection… of course anyone who offers his love to someone offers care and will to protect as well… but the quote said here might be like saying:”hey, I’d like to protect you; you shall feel safe when we are together”… nice expected feelings but with no guarantees of the actions and the consequences…

The masculine lover in the third scene like this one in the second scene was offering love and protection… BUT unlike him, the quote here is like saying:”girl; I’m capable of protecting you; you are safe and you must feel it for being with me”

Yes; you may say that in both cases there is no evidence or guarantee of the consequences and actions… yes; this is true, BUT there are always possibilities and expectations read from the personality themes you are dealing with and tend to analyze…

In my daydream; I shall be the feminine lover of the second scene; he can’t offer me what he doesn’t have initially… always and forever; feeling secure would be the magical entrance to internal peace; and no one of us shall guarantee this for the other…

I aspire – as all girls do – to be the feminine lover of the third scene to feel home with my lover regardless the surrounding circumstances or possibilities… it is just like you got all what you need by a scrub… you can now sleep safely, welcome home; no matter what lies behind the windows/outside you arms

It would be like watching two guys killing each other in the street; but it won’t make any sense as long as nothing would approach me as long as I’m looking through the windows/ from behind your back

If I’m going to bear someone who will never offer me what I’m in a bad need of; and I pretended to do without this thing and tried to give him what he needs [in case, we both are seeking the same thing] I’d be able to do so for a while but not so long, because one day I’d find no one recharging my battery; because he won’t be able to give me in return… my giving will in this case would be out of persistence not out of having what he sought…and as a result we both would feel that emptiness and we both would give it up so soon because who doesn’t own something can’t give it in return…

The scene of “I’d like to…I’m capable of” can be used also to prove the antithesis of what mom told me one day concerning my pals, whom I think they can’t act like responsible… she was arguing that if they are in charge of something they would be able to undertake it but I shall tell that each conclusion should have some origins or givens used to get to that conclusion…those givens are based on psychological, environmental and behavioral facts about those persons which would need further analysis to have a conclusion which would be specific to the personality in question…

The way between realism and mirage

A baby is born with his eyes closed, his legs tight to his stomach… once it begins to see, it begins to perceive the surrounding life, with all its bright and darker sides, with all its happiness and sorrows, with all its joy and grief…

Life doesn’t change its face, life doesn’t turn its back to us as we sometimes may declare to justify our sadness and our soul languish in sadness resistance… we are the ones whom change the views from which we interface with life….

A baby is born with a very pure heart; with no experiences, no opinions, and no inner hidden feelings towards anything… once this baby begins to have his own experiences, skills and feelings, he begins to seek a side of realism about life…

There are no extremes; this is one of the most important concepts about life… for example, there is no absolute happiness, instead, there are satisfaction and internal peace, which may lead is to a side of happiness but not the happiness itself… there is no black and no white, instead there is grey whose degree determines the closeness and the farness from the black and the white… babies can feel happiness, while adults feel satisfied, this to some extent may lead the dashing persons to live a faded life…

Let’s describe a model that may clarify the moral here:

Your birth determines your start, through the journey you pass by many milestones… till you reach your final destination… at your final destination, you have reached the last point or the extreme of a certain goal in your life, this extreme represents your extreme or the very far point that you can reach concerning a certain goal, this isn’t the extreme of the goal itself because everything in life is proportional, so there are no extremes…

More, the final destination here represents your death, after which you have nothing to do about your goals, thus your status at this point is your extreme…

The milestones here represent that checkpoints that you place after certain time intervals, and you pause your reactivity and proactivity to measure your performance regarding a certain topic… if you had already reached a level that you are satisfied of, then your performance in the next time interval would be increasing at a quiet confidence rate…

Each perception we perceive about the surrounding world, each situation we pass through- though it may be a repeated situation- is a life experience but we are the ones who decide when to begin counting… the ones whom are still with no adaptation or adjustment in their principles, beliefs, thoughts….. reacting to their life experiences and thinking that they are measuring on the scale of purity while they are actually measuring on the scale of idiocy rather than it is the scale of purity, because once the little baby had been scorch by the hot pot, it decides not to touch it again and may be it takes an aggressive action towards that pot.

Now, let’s expand the model a little:

Each baby is born with a basic set of needs which it is the responsibility of the adults to satisfy those needs. As the baby grows, his needs are increasing and he begins to take over the responsibility of fulfilling his needs.

To illustrate the model above, if a certain need has been split into three subneeds, then each need would have a satisfaction line over which many milestones are placed for evaluation… the summation of the performance achieved in all the subneeds’ satisfaction lines would form the actual rate of performance to satisfy the basic need…

If perfection is achieved in a subneed, this won’t necessary imply that the whole summations would be perfect, while if all the subneeds are satisfied and a level of perfection in achieved in a specific milestone, then the basic need is subsequently satisfied perfectly….

As long as you are seeking perfection you would not enjoy the desired internal peace even if you have at the moment all your needs satisfied perfectly except for only one…

The internal peace may result from two trends:

• Having all the basic needs (including the subneeds) perfectly satisfied..
• Having indifference trend concerning you life, you needs and your goals… this is of course an ill model of pretended internal peace.

To end this discussion I may justify the appearance of some persons enjoying everlasting internal peace can be explained as there are some persons whom seek perfection in a hurry and they are always seem to be anxious and worried, they may believe on failing once means endless era of failure where this mind isn’t true at all….

While there are some other people whom seek perfection but they have the wide mind to accept failures at any time of the journey believing that easy come easy go and confident that as long as they trust themselves to be capable of perfection, it will not leave their way…

خناقة

مش عارفه ليه أنا عاوزة أكتب الموضوع ده بالعربى بس كل اللى أعرفه إنى كل أما بحب أكتب بالعربى ببقى علشان أعمل مصيبه بس عموما البلوج بتاعى وبراحتى فيه بقى

أنا مش من النوع المنغلق أو اللى مش بيعرف حد وقافله على نفسى .. بالعكس أنا بأحب الناس أوى وبأحب أبقى دايما ف وسطهم وبحب اللمة والهيصة ... ومن خلال تواجدى مع ناس كتيرة ف أماكن كتيرة عرفت وشفت ناس كتير وأجمل حاجة هى إنى ليا أصحاب كتير... كل ده حلو .. بس اللى عاوزه أقوله هنا إنى من خلال إنى إتعاملت مع أنواع كتير من الناس ونسبيا قدرت أفهم حاجات كتيرة عن شخصياتهم ... ف ده اللى شجعنى إنى أكتب موضوع زى ده .. أنا هنا عاوزه أعرض تصنيف للناس ( شباب وبنات ) زى أما أنا شايفاهم ... وهأعرض التصنيف ده من خلال مثال صغير .. ممكن يبقى مثال عبيط بس أنا مقصدش المثال ف حد ذاته لكن أنا أقصد رد فعل الأشخاص فى الموقف ده ومن خلال ردود الأفعال بتقدر إنك تفهم الشخصية اللى قدامك... المثال ده عبارة عن خناقه فى الشارع ... وهأحاول إنى أحصر مجموعة الشخصيات اللى ممكن تبقى موجودة ف محيط الخناقة دى على قد أما أقدر...

لو هأتكلم الأول عن الشباب

النوع الأول : الشاب اللى يدخل يتخانق لمجرد الخناق .. وده أصلا عدوانى بالفطرة كده أو عنده شوية كبت وعاوز يطلّع ف أى حاجه أو أى حد قدامه .. وأهه لقى الفرصة
النوع التانى : الشاب الشهم اللى فعلا كان عاوز يساند أصحابه ... وده بينقسم إلى قسمين:

1. · الشاب اللى مش من النوع اللى مضمون هيكسب وللا لأ... علشان هو مش ذكى بالدرجة.. وممكن يكون عنده عضلات حتى بس مش يكسب برده .. وده علشان مشغلش دماغه ف ممكن يتغلب بسهوله
2. · الشاب اللى يببقى معروف إنه لو دخل ف الموضوع هيكسب هيكسب .. وده مش علشان قوى .. بس علشان ذكى و حسبها صح قبل لما يحط رجله فيها
   النوع التالت : النوع اللى بيستغل ذكاؤه علشان يهرب أو يبعد على قد أما يقدر عن الخناقه دى وفى نفس الوقت الناس اللى ف الخناقه والجمهور كمان بعد أما يخلّص يسقفله ويشيد بحكمته .. وده بيكون مش بيعمل كده علشان هو بايخ أو ندل .. بس علشان مش بيحب يتورط ف حاجات ملهاش لازمه .. وأحيانا بيكون تصرفه ده الأفضل على فكره
   النوع الرابع: اللى هيبص للخناقه ويعدّى من جنبها و ميشتركش فيها .. وده برده بينقسم إلى قسمين :

1. · الشاب اللى بيتجاهل الخناقه بدافع اللامبالاة
2. · الشاب اللى بيتجاهل الخناقة بدافع إنه الموضوع كان ممكن يتحل بالأدب والأخلاق وبالحوار العاقل مش كله بالرجل والإيد كده
   النوع الخامس: اللى يقف جنب الخناقه ويدخل ف خناقات جانبية تانية .. وبعد أما تخلص الخناقه الرئيسية يفضل يقول " يااه دوول نفدوا بجلدهم منى .. وينسب لنفسه كل البطولات والفتوحات اللى حصلت ف الخناقه الرئيسية"... عاوز يعمل منظر وخلاص يعنى بس هو عبيط
   النوع السادس: اللى يدخل ف نص الدايرة اللى فيها الخناقه ويبدأ يقول " يا جماعة بهدوء .. عاوزين نوصل لإتفاق بالعقل يا جماعه" .. وده طبعا هياخدوا بوكسين ف وشه هينسووه مكان عقله فين أساسا
   النوع السابع: اللى يدور على أبعد شارع بعيد عن الخناقه علشان يمشى فيه...
   النوع الثامن : اللى بيتصل بالبوليس أول أما يشوف الخناقه .. وده مش من دافع الندالة مع أصحابه ولكن من دافع إن النظام والقانون يسرى على الجميع؛ وشعاره: " لا يصح إلا الصحيح" ....

طيب... لو جينا بقى نصنّف البنات على أساس برده خناقه دايرة بين مجموعة من الشباب قدامهم:
النوع الأول : البنت اللى واقفه منهارة وبتعيط وف الآخر بيُغمى عليها .. وهى أصلا ولا تعرف ولا واحد من اللى واقفين ف الخناقه
النوع التانى: البنت اللى بتمثل إنها مخضوضه ومنهارة ... و خايفه مووت من منظر الولاد الوحشين المتوحشين اللى بيعوروا بعض يااى وبيخروا دم كماان .. يا مامى!!!... وهى تلاقيها أصلا بتآكل العيال الصغيرين ف شارعهم !!
النوع التالت: البنت اللى الخناقه بسببها أصلا .. وده بينقسم لنوعين :

1. · اللى فعلا ملهاش ذنب ف اللى بيحصل والموضوع كله هى مكنتش عاوزاه يمشى بالطريقه دى .. ودى بتحس بالذنب أوى وممكن كمان بعد أما الخناقه تخلص تتخانق هى مع الشاب اللى بدأ الحرب دى
2. · اللى كان نفسها ف كده من زمان إنه تحس إنه الشباب بيتخانقوا علشانها .. ودى أصلا بيبقى عندها نقص ونفسها تحس إنها مرغوبه .. أو هى أصلا مريضه ومدفوعه ف حياتها كلها بالفكرة المجردة بتاعة الذكر والأنثى... ودى بتقلبهم كلهم بعد أما الخناقه تخلص وتدوّر على غيرهم يتخانقوا علشانها أو بسببها .. يا إما لو إستمرت معاهم ومصحباهم ف بعد قليل أوى بيفهموها وبيقلبوها هما...
   النوع الرابع: اللى بتقف من بعيد تتفرج بحذر وتنادى لكل صاحباتها علشان يتفرجوا ودى بتنقسم لقسمين برده:

1.· اللى تبقى متضايقه فعلا علشان الناس دوول بيعملوا كده ليه ... بس برده عاوزه تتفرج
2.· اللى تبقى بتتفرج لمجرد الفرجه لكن معندهاش أى إحساس ناحية الموقف .. مجرد إنه دخلوها ف الماكينج بتاع فيلم أكشن ... بس!!
النوع الخامس: اللى بتمشى من الشارع الجانبى علشان متتعورش .. ودى أنا أُحييها
النوع السادس والأخير: ودى بقى اللى بتطلع المطوة بتاعتها من الشراب وتروح ع العيال تضربهم ... معلش أصلهم فعلا جنبها بيبقى إسمهم عيال.... وغالبا هما بيتصالحوا وبيبقوا إخوات علشان خاطرها هى بس .. وممكن كمان يدوا لبعض نمر الموبايلات بس هى تحل عنهم .. اللهم إعفينا ولا تبتلينا يعنى ... ودى بقى مواصفاتها إنها بتبقى لابسه جلابيه ورابطه راسها وممكن تقول إنها عامله سبانيش مش مشكله .. بس سبانيش من بتاع صفد اللبن يعنى... وأهم ميزة فيها إنها بتبقى لابسه شبشب وده علشان يبقى سهل إنه يطلع وقت اللزوم... وبتعرف ترقّصه على دماغها ولا حسام حسن ياجدع .... قبل أما تستعمله يعنى على دماغ أى حد تانى ... وداهنه صوابعها مونوكير أحمر دم الغزال بس متقشر من غسيل المواعين...
آه، كنت هنسى إنه غالبا بيكون إسمها نانا أو لينا أو لوإسمها بلدى أوى بتبقى سالى.... ودى بتبقى بقى النكته اللى الظابط ووكيل النيابة مش هيصدقوها لما يستجوبوا ضحايا المعركة!!!

التوافقيه بين أنواع الشخصيات المختلفة :
- النوع الأول من الشباب اللى بيتخانق لمجرد الخناق ... بتعجبه البنت اللى إتسببت ف الخناقه اللى عندها نقص ( النوع التالت – القسم التانى) ... يا إما علشان هو أساسا بيتخانق وعارف إنها هى السبب ف هو بيتخانق علشانها ... يا إما هو دخل ف الخناقه علشان يعرف يظبط معاها بعد كده .. وإحتمال كبير جدا إنه يعجبها برده ... وكمان بتعجبه اللى بتعيط ( النوع الأول) بس هو مش بيعجبها

-النوع التانى من الشباب اللى هيدخل الخناقة بس مش مضمون هيكسب وللا لأ ( النوع التانى - القسم الأول )... ده بتعجبه البنت اللى بتقف تتفرج من بعيد بس متضايقه من اللى بيحصل ( النوع الرابع - القسم الأول )... وممكن برده يعجبها ...

- النوع التانى من الشباب اللى هيدخل الخناقه ومضمون إنه هيكسب ( النوع التانى – القسم التانى ) ده بتعجبه البنت اللى بتمشى من الشارع الجانبى ( النوع الخامس ) وكمان النوع اللى بيبقى السبب ف الخناقه بس مكنتش عاوزه كده ( النوع التالت – القسم الأول) ... وكمان ممكن تعجبه اللى بتتفرج بس متضايقه ( النوع الرابع – القسم الأول) وده لإنه بيبقى ذكى ف عارف إنه محدش يقف قدام فضول المرأة...وعموما النوع ده من الشباب بيعجب كل البنات ف أكيد هيعجب الـ3 بنات دوول...

- النوع التالت من الشباب اللى بيستغل ذكاؤه علشان مش يتورط ف الخناقه بتعجبه البنت اللى بتقف تعيط (النوع الأول).. وبيقف يطبطب عليها .. البنت دى بتبقى ضعيفه أوى والنوع ده من الشباب هيعجبها ... و أى نوع من الشباب دول ممكن يبقى كويس معاها أوى .. ماعدا النوع الأول من الشباب

- النوع الرابع من الشباب اللى بيتجاهل الخناقه بدافع اللامبالاه (النوع الرابع – القسم الأول ) ..ده برده بتركب معاه البنت اللى بتعيط (النوع الأول) .. وكمان برده بتمشى معاه أوى البنت اللى بتتفرج بلا مبالاة ( النوع الرابع – القسم التانى)؛ علشان الاتنين مع بعض بيبقوا متوافقين ف حاجات كتير

- النوع الرابع من الشباب اللى بيتجاهل الخناقه بدافع إنها أسلوب غير حضارى ( النوع الرابع – القسم التانى ) بتعجبه البنت اللى بتمشى من الشارع الجانبى ( النوع الخامس )... وهو كمان بيعجبها ...

- النوع الخامس من الشباب اللى بيروح يتخانق ف خناقات جانبية بتعجبه البنت اللى بتعيط ( النوع الأول ) وهى علشان بتبقى محتاسه ف دموعها ف بيعجبها .. بس لو هى كانت مركزة شويه وخدت بالها إنه عبيط وبيتخانق ف خناقات جانبيه ف هتتقرف منه؛ بس غالبا مش بتاخد بالها ...
كمان النوع ده من الشباب بيعجبه برده البنت اللى إتسببت ف الخناقه ( النوع التالت – القسم التانى ).. وهو أصلا دخل وعمل المناظر اللى عملها دى وتكبد المعاناة دى كلها مع إنه جبان أصلا علشانها... بس هو مش بيعجبها ؛ وده لأنها ذكيه أو على الأقل عندها حدس أنثوى بيخليها تفرق كويس... وهى بتحب التحدى ف الشاب اللى بتعرفه ف الشاب من النوع ده بيبقى هو أساسا اللى جاى علشانها بتحس إنه سهل أوى ومفيش تحدى ف التعامل معاه... ده غير إنه بيبقى أصلا ضعيف ...

- النوع السادس من الشباب اللى بيروح ف نص الخناقه يتكلم بالعقل والمنطق ده بتعجبه البنت اللى بتمثل دور الضعيفه ( النوع التانى) وده لإنه أهبل أساسا ... وبيعجبها برده علشان هى رايحه وعاوزه أى حد يُعجب بيها وخلاص .. ف ده اللى بتلاقيه قدامها ..

- النوع السابع من الشباب اللى بيدور على أبعد شارع... ده بيتخدع ف البنت اللى بتمثل الضعف برده ( النوع التانى )... وممكن يعجبها برده بس لو لقت بعد كده أحسن منه هتسيبه... وممكن كمان تعجبه اللى بتتفرج وهى متضايقه ( النوع الرابع- القسم الأول) وده لأنه شاف إنها أقوى منه.. بس هو مش بيعجبها

- النوع الثامن من الشباب اللى بيتصل بالبوليس ده بتعجبه البنت اللى بتمشى من الشارع الجانبى ( النوع الخامس ) وده لأنه بيبقى شايف أصلا إنه الخناقه دى غلط .. وبيبقى عاوز اللى بتخاف على نفسها .. مش اللى تقف وممكن تتعور.. وبرده أنا بأُحييه على إختياره...

- أم بدوى بقى .. قصدى لينا ( النوع السادس) .. دى ممكن تعجب الشاب اللى بيتخانق خناقات جانبية ( النوع الخامس).. علشان هو هيبقى مبسوط إنها هونت عليه الموقف علشان كان هيتضرب كتير أوى من غيرها وكمان علشان هيحس معاها بالأمــان ....

فاضل بقى إنى أقول أنا مين ف دوول أو أقول أنا ممكن أتصرف إزاى وإنتم تحكموا أنا ميــن :
أنا اللى هأقف أتفرج من بعيد بس هأبقى متضايقه ... وبعدين وأنا واقفه هأتصل بدكتور صيام أحكيله من مكان الأحداث ... وهأراقب عن قرب تصرفات كل واحد وواحده ف الشارع ... وهأحللهم تحليل دقيق ... وأما أروح هأبدأ أعمل إتصالاتى ... هأتصل الأول بصاحباتى أحكيلهم اللى حصل النهارده ف الشارع قدامى ... وبعدين أبدأ أفكر مين ممكن يجبلى أصل الحكاية وأتصل بيه ... وبعدين هأتصل بدكتورة ميرفت أقولها على الملخص بتاع الحكايه أو ممكن أقابلها أون لاين أقوللها ... وبعدين ف آخر اليوم أتصل تانى بدكتور صيام أقولله على تطورات الموقف وآخر إستنتاجاتى ... وف الآخر خالص علشان أوثّق الموضوع لو مزاجى حلو ممكن أكتب الحكايه ومشاهداتى على البلوج....

نوع بقى الشباب اللى بأحبه ف دوول كلهم: طبعا بلا منازع النوع الذكى اللى بيكسب دايما ( النوع التانى – القسم التانى).. أكيد يعنى
... " the lord of the rings " وف دماغى دلوقتى أوراجون البطل بتاع فيلم
و أرجوكم محدش يفهمنى صح؛ وعموما النوع ده أصلا أنا لسه مش قابلت حد زييه
برده بيعجبنى النوع اللى بيدخل وممكن مش يكسب أوى ( النوع التانى – القسم الأول ) و كمان الشاب اللى ممكن يمشى من جنب الخناقه وميشتركش علشان ده مش أسلوب حضارى ( النوع الرابع – القسم التانى) النوع ده بأحترمه أوى ...
دايما بأ تجنب أو بأرفض النوع اللى بيستغل ذكاؤه علشان مش يتورط ( النوع التالت) وده لأنى بأحس إنه بيتلاعب وأنا بأحب الخط المستقيم مش بأحب اللف والدوران .. بس أحيانا بيكون هو صح وأنا غلط ؛ فى اللحظة دى بقى بأتعاون معاه وبآخد بنصيحته بس على عدم إرتياح داخلى مع إنى مقتنعة إنه مش لازم إنه بيلف ويدور يكون مش كويس ؛ ده ستايل للشخصية دى وهو ده سلاحه اللى بيحمى نفسه بيه ف الدنيا...
بأتخانق وبأختلف غالبا مع النوع اللى بيتصل بالبوليس ( النوع التامن) وده لإنه بيمثل بالنسبة ليا السلطة وأنا دايما من المتمردين على القواعد والأوامر... بس أحيانا الأمور مش بتتحل إلا بطريقته .. وعموما أنا بأحترم النوع ده من الأشخاص
بأتضايق أوى من النوع اللى بيدخل يتكلم بالعقل والمنطق ف نص الخناقه ( النوع السادس) ... والنوع ده مش بأعتد بآراءه غالبا
بأحتقر اللى بيدخل ف خناقات جانبيه وحوارات جنب الخناقه علشان يثبت وجوده وهو ضعبف أصلا ( النوع الخامس) ؛ وكمان برده بأحتقر أوى النوع اللى بيمشى من الشارع الجانبى ( النوع السابع ) والنوعين دول بأرفض التعامل معاهم أو بأتعامل معاهم وأنا محتقراهم
بأخاف أوى من التعامل مع النوع اللى بيتخانق وبيتشاكل ده ( النوع الأول) وبأسميه دايما البلطجى ... وبأكون حذرة جدا ف التعامل معاه ده لو إتعاملت معاه أصلا

Ratings

I’ve been through a very loaded month…I’ve attended four weddings and many parties, I’m about to rate those weddings from different views:

· The 1st wedding (1/11/2007):

It was such a marvelous wedding, it was very integrable with no single mistake … I was in no mood to attend, especially that Amr is not a friend, he was just a colleague…but I swear that if I hadn’t attended, I’d have regretted so much….

Starting with the groom and the pride got engaged due to a love story … this is a very important point to be mentioned …

Well, to analyze at first the apparent sides of the wedding:

1-The pride’s dress and her haircut were so nice, he make-up was fantastic, actually she was so pretty … I liked her... also, the groom’s suit was suitable and its color goes with the pride’s wedding dress’s color

2-The D.J was fascinating and the band members were so active … also, the songs selection was great

3-I liked the idea of having the (maa’zoon) in the hall to give them the marriage in the same place and all the attendance can see and hear the event well through the monitor … I liked this idea so much especially that at the same day afternoon we attended Hasnaa’s (katb ketab) in the mosque and we could neither hear nor see anything...even the pride wasn’t able to listen or even see the groom through that tiny place available through the curtains

4-the pride and the groom danced a lot till they got tired… they were so convenient to each other

5-I liked the attendance, especially the old people, they were dancing some dances I was wondering where they were taught them, like samba, tango, tsha tsha tshaa!!!!

6-The hall was great, and the service was high quality

If I’m going to analyze the spiritual sides of the wedding:

1- I liked the groom’s and the pride’s eyes’ look, they were so clear … it was so obvious, they are in love, it isn’t an ordinary marriage….

2- All the attendance had a great sense of humor, even the old people

3-I liked the pride’s and the groom’s friends…they were so loving and they were all happy for them…they did their best to make that wedding so nice as it was …

I cried while they were dancing slow (don’t be so cute and tell that I’m crying coz I loved Amr) but the point was that I’m just was dreaming of myself that moment… besides, the song they danced at was a marvelous song …it was for Shania Twain, called “when you kiss me”

This could be it,

I think I'm in love

It's love this time

It just seems to fit, I think I'm in love

This love is mine

I can see you with me when I'm older

All my lonely night are finally over

You took the weight of the world off my shoulders (the world just goes away)

When you kiss me,

I know you miss me

and when you're with me,The world just goes away

The way you hold me

The way you show me

that you adore me--oh, when you kiss me

I really was so affected by the song and I found myself crying but thanks Allah my friends didn't notice me .... really,i've become too sensitive !!!

Final note: Dr.Seyam told me that if the relation is based mainly on love then everything would appeal or seem to the others’ to be complete even if they don’t know the base of the relation… really, it was the most fascinating wedding I've attended, it was perfect and may Allah bless their love and life…

· The 2nd wedding:

This wedding thanks Allah wasn’t as we expected to be moveless, it was nice time to spend there … may Allah bless them

The most remarkable thing that the pride and the groom have very similar facial features… this is what I call the “soul’s mingling effect”... but actually they aren’t married due to love …

By the way, the bride had a marvelous make-up and a very nice purdah (7ejab)

· The 3rd wedding:

This is the day we all aspired to, Omnyia’s wedding…we all expected it to be fascinating and it was… the accompany was so nice… we meet many of our colleagues… I was so happy to meet Mohamed Nabeel there… also Dr.Seyam attended… the most amazing thing that Dr.Abu el Osool left before the buffet!!!!!

The attendance and the band were nice…

The loving and happy attending people were remarkable in that wedding… this wedding was spiritually very high

· The 4th wedding:

Unfortunately I had the worst mood ever in that wedding, beginning with the long heavy trip

Most of my friends got phone calls from their lovers to ask about them and assure that they are safe … I didn’t got the call I was aspiring for, I was very sure that it would have been a friendly call … I knew well that it was a hard-to-reach dream … but I wasn’t fine at all

I got about 5 calls & 3 SMSs from Dr.Seyam, about 10 calls from Dr.Sum, 2 calls from Yasmina…and finally at 3:00 am I got a call from mom to make sure that I’m coming back and perhaps she was assuring that I’m still alive :D

The wedding was nice concerning the arrangements and the singers …but it lacked spirit unfortunately, also it lacked the expected attendance – actually I don’t know the reason till now- …. But the obvious is that the pride had very nice make-up

Thanks to Dr.Sum & Yasmina we all went home safely at about 5:30 am …also Dr.Seyam was on the phone with us along the way….

personality recognition part I-I : life between abstract and concrete personalities

Some people may think the reason of this entry is to satisfy two close friends I think I may have disturbed with my ideas …this reason appeals to me though it is not actually the main reason for this post but it is ok… this concrete friend and his beautiful lovely abstract fiancée deserve so…actually, the main reason for writing this is to clarify my ideas which may have caused some confusion or misleading -to some extent- in judging the situations and the persons…

I won't here talk about friendship between different forms of personalities but I will talk only about life and love…not as friendship is not important, I used to have a friend whose nickname on the msn is " life= = friendship" and I completely agree with her, add to this " life = = true love"...I'm going to talk only about life and love as with your friend you may accept him for the one he is without even thinking in changes – actually you may try to change his mind ,change his way, his attitude or behavior- ... ok, but in the case of partner, you must be satisfied completely with his attitude and behavior and you will do your best to comfort him/her as well , while you may accept some matters that may not comfort you with your friend with a belief that to maintain a strong or a nice relation with your friend you mustn't be insistent on getting all what you want in your friend but you must be insistent on getting all or most of your dreams on your partner…

I'll talk in detail about life between abstract and concrete personalities because this is the most common form of joint life…

Well, let's start with a principle I wanna mention now… many of us agree on that abstraction is the default form for females and concretion is the common form for males…

When an abstract female and a concrete male are going to get engaged:

Of course both reorganize his/her life to welcome and accommodate to the new situation …. The point here is this is the only joint step because the concrete person would have another step to perform alone, he will need to perform another level of re-organization but now it will be personality re-organization…actually for two reasons:

First: you may need to remove some of the roughness and sharpness of your personality and attitude…you may need to apply some new features like sharing or listening… I don't mean that concrete persons are hard or bad, they may have all those nice features deep inside but they only need to re-form the interface within which they present those features when they are dealing with their abstract partners...

Second: to ensure completion and integration…to minimize the gap between the two different natures of concrete and abstract persons…

At this point two questions rise:

The first: why I insist on re-organization not re-construction?

The answer is simply as we don't want the world to be based on only abstract persons… and the rest concrete persons will be turned to be abstract…no…we won't make it the right way if we think like this and we also won't try to turn all abstract persons to be concrete – the life would be very hard if all people are concrete – also it won't happen even if we tried hard….

You re-construct your personality when you have a weak personality or when you have bad behavior and manners and I've said before that concrete persons aren't bad at all…

The second question would be: why don't we ask the abstract girl to re-organize her personality as well??

Let's think about it, if she tried to re-organize her personality she would be moving toward concretion and this is not acceptable at all as the default for females is abstraction….more, if we considered love to be a human , to which category will it be classified?? Will we classify it to be an abstract person or a concrete person? I think it is very clear; it would have been classified to be an abstract person…so females aren't asked to move toward concretion as the default in love is abstraction …more, love is a strong relation which can impose its conditions on persons and personalities …it has no rules but suggests new rules and circumstances…SO, it can easily raise new concepts that don't exist in the dictionary of concrete personalities…

The point -I argue with you my friend about it- here is that you always say that the most tedious part would be the concrete person's part … but I disagree with you in this….

Imagine you spent your life believing that 1+1=2…then a person enters your life – your abstract partner- bringing new colors to it, trying to recalculate the equation with you and trying to convince you that we may –together- make it 1+1=3 maybe 4 or as we wish –together-, trying to make your life more soft and flexible, would it be easy to change your belief about the equations and circumstances?…you are trying to develop yourself and she is encouraging and triggering you to change, what do you think now? Who has the most tedious part?

You may be afraid of losing your concrete part...but it is ok, you won't lose it at all as you are changing only when you deal with your partner, of course you may have to apply some changes to the whole of your life and when you are dealing with the others, but those changes are due to the joint life not for exactly the entrance of an abstract person into it…but the changes in your concrete personality would be only observed when you deal with your partner only not anyone…also, joint life would trigger your ambition more and more and I think this is very good for concrete persons…

Mixtures and variations in models:

• When both are abstract with a concrete mask ,it is believed to be the most ideal model as both of them may move freely from a personality to another with the minimum effort in re-organization...
• When the male is concrete and female is abstract, it is believed to be the most common model...
• The model with an abstract male and concrete female, I think it is the most suffering model as it to some extent contrasts with the nature of both of them…
• The model with two abstract persons, what a beautiful colorful life full of love and feelings…besides, man takes his role in leading the family normally...
• Finally, the hardest model which is composed of two concrete persons…actually life here is very dry, lacks feelings…they may love each other but in silence, their love may be translated into numbers, more ambition, hard work…but this is not enough for love which is said to be abstract…also, it is not always true that silence is the secret language of love, there are situations that needs the rule to be broken…

Final quote: you have told me before that "concrete persons may lose the fight, while abstract persons get hurt"…I may add to this that "concrete persons may get promotion, while abstract persons reach their dreams"

Personality Recognition I :(Abstract Vs. Concrete)

I don't know why i always tend to surf the personalities and characters i meet , but actually i find in doing so excitement i don't find in anything else.... One of the great advantages of doing so ,is the improvement of my analytical senses as when you understand someone's character ,the next step may will be trying to analyze one's behavior and attitude.... This really needs some kind of concentration ....but it helps widening my mind,now i can't be easily deceived by anyone ( i think being so ) , and it also helps in understanding myself more and more.....

when i was in my second year in the faculty, i tried to categorize personalities i know , at the first time i couldn't make it as i needed to find persons and drive them to the same situations and watch their response ... before going on this , "personality recognition " isn't a science or a theory ... it is just a name i liked to call these thoughts ....actually why we have "face recognition" , " speech recognition" , ..... etc. and don't have " personality recognition " ? , although, recognizing the personality is more critical and difficult than just recognizing the external features of a person .. your personality is your backbone , it forms your being ... this is the point.....

Personalities' selection:

ok, each day me and my friends face certain situations which we must react together , but actually there may be similarities in my friends' personalities i'm not in interest of mentioning now ...so they won't be the ideal case study , but after establishing a wide strategy in recognizing people i found it easier to consider my friends' personalities and apply the strategy on them -actually , here i'm talking about my friends who are members in the "TopGroupGirls" :D , as there are friends of mine belong to other specifications- but at the begining i must find distinguishable characters to establish this strategy based on the distinctions between them...Finally , i found two suitable distinct characters , actually they are friends- members in the "free-will committee" (el a7raar) - , they aren't two opponent personalities, in contrast , they perform a fine harmony with each other... But what attracted my attention on them is that their actions are distinguishable remarks of their personalities and their actions are distinct and this was my lost so they were a wonderful start....

Of course,all this processing and thinking was done in the dark corner of my mind as i always call it , in other words,this was done without any awareness or without paying attention to what is going in my mind when dealing with those characters... the only thing i was aware of ,is that i really need to have a well formed opinion about anyone in my life , because in that era , i was really afraid of dealing with anyone i don't know well , even my friends i was so cautious with them as i experienced one bad situation ,caused by mis-judgement, from which i sufferred alot for the whole of the year...

Recognition criteria:

Then i came to the next step, or the next Question ... What would be the Recognition criteria?? Actually i always believe that those two friends are a gift of Allah - this conclusion isn't proven only by this situation but is proven by about 75% of my mentality and personality , i really owe alot to them -Again i found my lost on them..... thanks to their distinct actions , i found two Recognition criteria:

1- abstraction and concretion

2- codes and diagrams classification ( i'll mention later)

Abstract Vs. Concrete:

when i'm talking about abstract and concrete personalities i don't mean abstraction which is the abstraction of ideas and i don't mean concrete which is used to describe the substance used in building....but i actually imported the names from some of mom's ideas and applied my notes on those two friends to extract a definition of an abstract and concrete personality.... abstraction here means matters that are related to one's soul and feelings.... concrete here means having strong beliefs based on cosidering only facts or evidences not feelings or emotions ....

An abstract personality :

well, to consider the abstract personality more deeply, a person is said to be abstract if he had certain characteristics focused on the feelings ....there may be some indicators that indicate whether you are abstract person or not :

*often driven by your feelings ....

* when facing a problem ,you try to find the best solution which relieves your soul even if it doesn't solve the problem actually or physically...

* you consider spiritual values more than concrete values... i.e. you may measure the value of something with how much happiness this thing brings to your heart not the cost of the thing ... for an abstract person , a flower maybe more precious than a necklace

* you may prefer silence ... you may spend time looking at something in silence while thinking

* you always try to find illustrations of the situations or descriptions of the things and matters ..these descriptions and illustrations are related to mind and soul and you consider what is felt about the matter ( concentrate on what is unseen to prove what is seen ).... e.g. an abstract person considers the perfume and the dew blobs on the flower not its color....

* you are very sensitive

* you don't often get bored easily of something you do

A concrete personality:

to consider the concrete personality more closely, a person is said to be concrete if he had certain characteristics focused on the facts , evidences and physical proofs....there may be some indicators that indicate whether you are concrete person or not :

* often driven by your ambition ...

* when facing a problem , you try to work around this problem , leaving the spare time to think of it or even to try to solve it ..but at the moment ,you think of how you would turn your loss into benefit

* you consider the concrete values more than the spiritual values...

* you prefer to some extent crowded places and you like moving from place to place and changing your life ....

* you always try to find illustrations of the situations or descriptions of the things and matters based on certain facts and rules

( concentrate on what is seen and try to explore it) .... a concrete person considers the flower's color and the shape of its leaves....

* you are very practical

* you always try to find new thing to do and try to explore new ways of doing the same thing.

An abstract with a concrete mask:

sometimes there are people who are actually 90% abstract inside and others view them as being concrete..... i believe i'm one of those ..... actually sometimes i get fed up with my concrete mask and try hardly to take it off, but unfortunately people force me to keep it .... i try hardly to convince them "i'm not that one ...i'm not concrete...please look inside ...you will find someone different " ...but in vain.....

one day, i asked a friend for something .... he promised to bring it and we agreed to meet after two days to deliver this thing , the day before our meeting i decided to remind my friend of this thing, he said: " ok i remember but what if i forget to bring it tomorrow ?? "... i said: " nothing,really i'm fully satisfied with my feeling that you wanna help ... now i really won't mind even if you forget it tomorrow, i won't get upset "...my friend ( the financial calculator owner) was surprised of my reply... and i was unhappy with his surprise because i found that he only sees the external concrete mask of my personality !!!! - actually i believe this friend also belongs to this category but i don't know why he can't recognize that i have a concrete mask like him .. not a concrete personality-

another situation which pleased me so much , when i woke up one day and found an SMS from one of the great T.As in our faculty ( EL DOCTOOOORA MERVAT ) ...what a surprise !!! ...she herself sends me a message telling me that she would be available the next day to explain some topics in the "information theory " ... OH really i couldn't believe it , she cares about me .... i insisted more on studying this subject hard to get a high score in it after this situation....and after the exam she called me on the phone to know my news ...i was above the sky that day ... i appreciated this so much, i was so impressed by this situation which i won't forget ..... really if i had a single wish before i leave this faculty after graduation , i wish to had a long conversation with Dr. Mervat & Dr. Amira- another great T.A. - , setting silent while they are talking , giving me a little of their experience.... i don't know what the coming days will bring but i hope this wish comes true...

well , the thing i noted heavily is that the majority of abstract people are women ... the majority of concrete people are men ...

now , what do you think of yourself ??? to which classification do you belong ???