personality recognition part I-I : life between abstract and concrete personalities

Some people may think the reason of this entry is to satisfy two close friends I think I may have disturbed with my ideas …this reason appeals to me though it is not actually the main reason for this post but it is ok… this concrete friend and his beautiful lovely abstract fiancée deserve so…actually, the main reason for writing this is to clarify my ideas which may have caused some confusion or misleading -to some extent- in judging the situations and the persons…

I won't here talk about friendship between different forms of personalities but I will talk only about life and love…not as friendship is not important, I used to have a friend whose nickname on the msn is " life= = friendship" and I completely agree with her, add to this " life = = true love"...I'm going to talk only about life and love as with your friend you may accept him for the one he is without even thinking in changes – actually you may try to change his mind ,change his way, his attitude or behavior- ... ok, but in the case of partner, you must be satisfied completely with his attitude and behavior and you will do your best to comfort him/her as well , while you may accept some matters that may not comfort you with your friend with a belief that to maintain a strong or a nice relation with your friend you mustn't be insistent on getting all what you want in your friend but you must be insistent on getting all or most of your dreams on your partner…

I'll talk in detail about life between abstract and concrete personalities because this is the most common form of joint life…

Well, let's start with a principle I wanna mention now… many of us agree on that abstraction is the default form for females and concretion is the common form for males…

When an abstract female and a concrete male are going to get engaged:

Of course both reorganize his/her life to welcome and accommodate to the new situation …. The point here is this is the only joint step because the concrete person would have another step to perform alone, he will need to perform another level of re-organization but now it will be personality re-organization…actually for two reasons:

First: you may need to remove some of the roughness and sharpness of your personality and attitude…you may need to apply some new features like sharing or listening… I don't mean that concrete persons are hard or bad, they may have all those nice features deep inside but they only need to re-form the interface within which they present those features when they are dealing with their abstract partners...

Second: to ensure completion and integration…to minimize the gap between the two different natures of concrete and abstract persons…

At this point two questions rise:

The first: why I insist on re-organization not re-construction?

The answer is simply as we don't want the world to be based on only abstract persons… and the rest concrete persons will be turned to be abstract…no…we won't make it the right way if we think like this and we also won't try to turn all abstract persons to be concrete – the life would be very hard if all people are concrete – also it won't happen even if we tried hard….

You re-construct your personality when you have a weak personality or when you have bad behavior and manners and I've said before that concrete persons aren't bad at all…

The second question would be: why don't we ask the abstract girl to re-organize her personality as well??

Let's think about it, if she tried to re-organize her personality she would be moving toward concretion and this is not acceptable at all as the default for females is abstraction….more, if we considered love to be a human , to which category will it be classified?? Will we classify it to be an abstract person or a concrete person? I think it is very clear; it would have been classified to be an abstract person…so females aren't asked to move toward concretion as the default in love is abstraction …more, love is a strong relation which can impose its conditions on persons and personalities …it has no rules but suggests new rules and circumstances…SO, it can easily raise new concepts that don't exist in the dictionary of concrete personalities…

The point -I argue with you my friend about it- here is that you always say that the most tedious part would be the concrete person's part … but I disagree with you in this….

Imagine you spent your life believing that 1+1=2…then a person enters your life – your abstract partner- bringing new colors to it, trying to recalculate the equation with you and trying to convince you that we may –together- make it 1+1=3 maybe 4 or as we wish –together-, trying to make your life more soft and flexible, would it be easy to change your belief about the equations and circumstances?…you are trying to develop yourself and she is encouraging and triggering you to change, what do you think now? Who has the most tedious part?

You may be afraid of losing your concrete part...but it is ok, you won't lose it at all as you are changing only when you deal with your partner, of course you may have to apply some changes to the whole of your life and when you are dealing with the others, but those changes are due to the joint life not for exactly the entrance of an abstract person into it…but the changes in your concrete personality would be only observed when you deal with your partner only not anyone…also, joint life would trigger your ambition more and more and I think this is very good for concrete persons…

Mixtures and variations in models:

• When both are abstract with a concrete mask ,it is believed to be the most ideal model as both of them may move freely from a personality to another with the minimum effort in re-organization...
• When the male is concrete and female is abstract, it is believed to be the most common model...
• The model with an abstract male and concrete female, I think it is the most suffering model as it to some extent contrasts with the nature of both of them…
• The model with two abstract persons, what a beautiful colorful life full of love and feelings…besides, man takes his role in leading the family normally...
• Finally, the hardest model which is composed of two concrete persons…actually life here is very dry, lacks feelings…they may love each other but in silence, their love may be translated into numbers, more ambition, hard work…but this is not enough for love which is said to be abstract…also, it is not always true that silence is the secret language of love, there are situations that needs the rule to be broken…

Final quote: you have told me before that "concrete persons may lose the fight, while abstract persons get hurt"…I may add to this that "concrete persons may get promotion, while abstract persons reach their dreams"