Realization

I can’t mention how much I’ve been comforted when I read on Haitham’s blog that he had misunderstood Doaa’s change. Actually, I don’t know why I felt so guilty when I read his entry where he accused her of being ingrateful to Dr.Seyam – he hadn’t mentioned this literally but I got it- and he misunderstood her change after getting engaged…

although, he mentioned me in the same entry but I wasn’t worried that much about myself like my worry about his idea of Doaa because of the following facts:

1. I know that Haitham knows me well, and we can handle our misunderstandings as we’d done many times before

2. I know that Dr.Seyam and Dr.Sum aren’t the persons to be easily deceived or misled by someone’s behavior so if Doaa is the one of those who may be turned one day to be ingrateful person to all what they did for her, they might have figured that out from the first sight

3. Haitham hadn’t dealt with Doaa for enough time to figure out her personality clearly, and the relation between them was about no more than educational activities... So, I felt I’m to some extent responsible for his idea about her, although I don’t remember that I had ever mentioned Doaa in any conversation with Haitham and I’m not involved in the situation he mentioned in his story in anyway… but maybe it is the feeling that I’m the link between my group and Haitham was the trigger of the feeling of being guilty and feeling responsible for clarifying any misunderstanding may both sides have about the other

I hurried to ask Dr.Seyam if he really feels what Haitham had written on his blog – although, I was certain that he isn’t but I wanted to be sure- and he confirmed that he doesn’t feel so

Unfortunately, I couldn’t talk with Haitham about what he’d written because I know it isn’t the right time to discuss anything now ... he is in an unsettled temper and we – both- are on the edge…

So, I had to wait with my horrible feeling till the situation gets clearer…

Now, I can’t imagine how much I’m relieved by his new entry, but there are some important notes to mention:

· My feeling now explained his anger when I mentioned one of his friends badly... I thought that the reason for his anger is that his friend is closer to him than me and this disturbed me a lot… but now I felt the same, although Doaa isn’t my closest friend, I felt worried and disturbed for finding him thinking of her that way… so when he felt angry for his friend it was all about the responsibility he felt towards his friendship with the guy..

· Haitham is – as he always was- strong enough to declare that he is wrong or sorry for something - and it is not a shortage, on the contrary, it is a point of strength- even if he insisted on his opinion while he was angry, this reminds me of my long bad continuous experience with anger which drives me badly to do or to tell things I may regret or need to rollback after I become stable again…

But anyhow, thanks Allah this situation ended that way

*Tomorrow we are heading for Cairo if Allah will to attend Doaa’s wedding… this time I’m the responsible for the trip as a whole

*Next week I’m supposed to give two lectures and till now I don’t know anything about what I’m going to talk about, also I’m supposed to give two sections (Dr.Seyam’s lovely system design sections, really I enjoy those sections so much, not as he always expects) and also till now I’ve not prepared what I’m going to give in the sections

*Finally, the awful sections in the faculty of pharmacy had come to an end, the remaining step is only the practical examination

*A week ago, I began the final deals step in the preparation for our graduation party ceremony… I’ll talk about this in greater detail later… but for now, I want to mention that I enjoy this experience so much