Never Mind...Just Forget about it

One day I was walking with a friend who insisted on telling that he is the most troubled man ever, whose life isn’t going so well, with whom life is insisting on playing tricky games…

" أنا مش متخيل إيه اللى بيحصللى ده!! ... عُمرِك شفتى حد بيحصل معاه كل ده؟!!...حياتى بجد ماشية دراما ..لأ تراجيديا...مش متخيل الدنيا بتعمل معايا كده ليه ...محدش بيحصلّه نص اللى بيجرالى ده"

I smiled at him, though he chose the very wrong person to convince of his tragedy, but I was willing to listen to him… and I said a quote relates to my beliefs:

" إنت عارف ...هى تقريبا الأرض مكوّرة...أصلها لو مستطيل وللا متوازى مستطيلات كان ناس كتيره أوى هيختاروا إنه يجروا على أبعد زاويه أو ركن فيها علشان يهربوا من التواجد فى نفس المكان مع ناس معينة .. بس للأسف؛ الدراسات أثبتت إنها مكوّرة ومع كده برده إحنا لسه بندرو على أبعد نقطه"

I don’t know why I remembered this conversation while thinking about this entry elements, but I liked to begin with it… I think it, in some way, is related to the following points which are all strongly tight- coupled:

• I think I’m blessed to see it end that way, the same as I –secretly in my darkest deepest side- hoped to end… I’m blessed not for the end conformation with my hopes, but to witness it… a deep mind inside me was telling that the first end – my part- was for my benefit- of course this wasn’t my mind in the first shot, or let’s say in the first year after my first shock- but to believe that everything happens for good reasons, it is too hard and needs great persistence and maturity specially in heart stuff and related issues, because in most of those situations, logic and mind are misled by feelings, whether those feelings are love, happiness, desire, anger or even hurt….day- by- day I got evidences on the correctness of what I thought about both of them, even if all the surrounding people were sometimes trying to let me change my mind about him – coz, all people agreed upon her as being not so good- …
  I thought that witnessing them near, in their story, and having it touching my life, and for the ridicule of fates, the heroine declared many times that I’m the only one who understands her when she is talking about love, and I’m the one with whom she is very comforted while talking… I thought that all this is an affliction, but I was mistaken as in the end I got the moral which was to be totally and partially convinced of my end and to be completely satisfied that it is so fair, and was for my benefit…
  The question that rises here is that if I think it was a fair end for me and it was for my benefit, how shall it be the fair end for them as well?? Though I always believed that they both deserve each other?? And what would I say to prove that I’m not rejoicing at their misfortune??
  The answer would be simply that even if the evil ones appeal to each other, don’t they deserve to be hurt as the many people whom they – intentionally- caused to be hurt…
  A side-note: you hadn’t yet reached my darkest side, I’m neither envying them nor rejoicing at their misfortune but I’m watching the theories’ applications… those theories which I believed in and which were capable of disappointing me too many times over the past five years.. But it is not the time to talk about those theories now, I’d talk about this later in greater detail...So I’m witnessing maybe for the first time, the right application of one theory we need the most … justice!!
• Why each time I see this strange look in your eyes?? You are asking too many questions that you know their absolute right answers… I’m brave enough to tell you yes, that’s right…nice conclusion…unfortunately, you are right, with no proud… don’t doubt it anymore because those questions torture me a lot… I agree upon whatever conclusions you made except for the mind that you did your best to save it, because you did nothing… either wrong or right… it is still nothing!!...
  But you know, I’d remain speechless…
  You and I had a mutual thinking at the very beginning and at the end…” bel mastra”
  You and I know that it was a hurricane for me and a useless hassle for you…
  so Never Mind… just Forget about it
  You and I chose not to talk about anything, at the end speechless...let it go and it will, as many other things did… so Never Mind… just Forget about it
  You and I know well that the coming won’t be in any case brighter than or even as bright as the past… so Never Mind… just Forget about it
  You and I know that each one of us would remain a nice exception in the other’s life….
  so Never Mind… just Forget about it
  There were only two differences:
  - For me, it is not an accumulated experience and memories chain…I had made a deep freeze after the mail I sent you last January… after this mail, I’ve no memory, no quote, no feelings… just a memory about a faded smile, a faded face and a faded era which belongs to no more than me…
  For you, it’s a friend whom you think had worn a wooden mask and gone away, though this friend is there and you did nothing to take off his wooden mask with a pretention of a total ignorance of the actual reasons for this shift…
  - For me, it began with:
  " عندى ثقة فيك...عندى أمل فيك...بيكفى؟ شو بدك ..إنه يعنى أموت فيك؟؟"
  And it ended with:
  "كيفك إنت؟؟"
  For you, it began with:
  "إيديا فى جيوبى وقلبى طرب..سارح فى غربة بس مش مغترب...وحدى لكن ونسان وماشى كده..ببتعد معرفش أوباقترب"
  And it ended with
  "وأنا برده بأقول كان مالك نظراتك مش طبيعية...تشوفينى يتغير حالك وأتاريكى........."
• I remembered Meroo’s quote:” I wonder, how shall she appear so well, so strong, with her full make-up, colored dress and big smile… while they broke up two days ago!!!”
  Dear Meroo, what I couldn’t tell when you said it, is that neither Wael Gassar in “youm zefafek”, nor Khaled Aggag in “as’ab hob” were representing the black fantasy, instead they were delivering a narrow side of the tough real world.

Final quote, it may be a rectangular earth, but we are all standing and viewing only a very limited circular area, where some of us are standing side-by-side, others are standing back-to-back, but only very few persons whom are brave enough to stand face-to-face…

I liked this excerpt of prose for Abd El-Rahman Al Abnoudy:

"رميت نفسك فى حضن ... سقاك الحضن حزن ...حتى فى أحضان الحبايب.. تلاقى الشوك ياقلبى"