Question of all eras

Last week I’d attended a nice wedding of one of my colleagues…actually I’ve tried to blog about it before, but I delayed this entry though I was so afraid to lose the whole idea as what happened many times before because I believe that the first shot is always the best shot…but this time, the delay was for my benefit… the idea now is more complete in my mind and I guess today is the suitable time to write about it…

I’m not going to go on the details of the wedding, but I prefer to pass by in a glance to get directly into the moral of this entry… but I won’t deny that in spite of being there without my gang- the TopGirlsGroup gang, actually according to the very latest updates; they absolutely deserve the title gang: D- , and in spite of the cycle of sorrows, conflicts, fears and sadness which is getting narrower day by day, that wedding amazingly succeeded on getting me out of the mood, I enjoyed my time there though I hadn’t spent more than 2 hours, and I was very excited… though I began nowadays to feel that I’m getting older when I attend weddings despite being only 22 years old… this feeling is neither caused by the fact that I’m not engaged nor it is caused by the fact that I’m totally a loser at the emotional side… rather it is caused by the feeling that girls of my age are going to take over the responsibilities of the adults… I’d talk about this feeling in a greater detail soon…

The fact that triggered my thoughts that night was the groom’s age – bypassing his appearance, though for me it is an important measurement, but I believe in the famous saying: " لولا إختلاف الأذواق لبارت السلع "

I’m nearly to swear that the groom is in his 40s, though she has lied to me telling that he is about 27, while her friends in the wedding said that he is 32 years old, but I can’t deny what I had seen with my eyes!!

Let’s go out of his hassle to the important part here, the immense number of thoughts and questions flew through my mind that night…

bypassing the economical factors (from her side, though it is possible) what would be the motives for any girl to agree upon such marriage proposal???

She is only a 22 virgin whom hadn’t been married before… so her possibilities aren’t so few….so discard this possible reason….

is it right that only old men are the only ones now whom are capable earning a living and leading a family toward the future?? Ok supposing this is right, there is something to regard here… she hadn’t get enough share of life experiences to get to this mind which needs too much courage of a girl to accept…

can it be love? Sorry but this is a very disgusting idea for me to consider…to think about a crippled love between a 22- years old girl and a 40- years old man, it shall be some sort of parental love!!!

I know that many researches emphasized that a woman’s mind gets mature more earlier than a man’s mind by 2-3 years… so many people consider this a reasonable view to consider an engagement model of a man who is elder than the woman by 2-3 years would be a successful model from the view of decision making and leadership.. Though this is not always the case, we may find many successful models where both the man and the woman are of the same age… More, there are some models where the man is so brilliant than his woman though he is younger than her…so there is no rule concerning relations…

but to have a time distance of more than 18 years, what kind of sick engagement is this??

Is it the man who is getting more selfish day-by-day??

Mom has a model which I see it as unjust in some of its dimensions… she always keeps on telling me that:

• Men whom are about 25-28 years prefer to propose to marry from girls whom are 20-23 years
• Men whom are about 29-35 years prefer to propose to marry from girls whom are 24-26 years
• Men whom are about (35-…) years prefer to propose to marry from girls whom are 26-30 years
• Men whom are about (35-…) years, and divorced or are widowers prefer to propose to marry from girls whom are 30-35 years

This is what I call “the greedy search model” …

who had delegated those unfair rights to men? The oldest can propose simply to the youngest… unless he is in love with one of his age, he can dare easily to go and ask her to marry him…

Who had denied a girl in the middle of the 30s of her age to marry to someone of her age??

Oh, I’d forgotten that we are reactors, no more…

I’d forgotten that we have stated in the minds of our community that the girl who is in her 20s is doing nothing but waiting for the sought knight to come and set her free, and the girl in her 30s and hadn’t married yet has nothing to do in her life and she’d better lock her room door and not to show up to avoid the tough treatment and the cruel looks of the surrounding community…

We have stated this idiocy in the community’s mind and we are now suffering from the consequences and trying to change those minds

It is true and I completely agree upon the idea of the woman’s refined role in the construction of the civilized society which implies that her life as a woman would have preference over her professional life where she can achieve her ambition … her life as a woman begins when she finds her partner, she begins to take over her main tasks for which she was basically created… her two lives are parallel, but if there would be a conflict, she would have to choose which part she would sacrifice totally or partially in favor of the other life…. In most cases, she’d sacrifice her professional life because most women see that she can be more productive in her life as a woman, many persons would be affected by her love and her donations…

While we see a wide party of men view marriage as a secondary step, or to be more precise, they view marriage as a complementary part in life without which life would go… they don’t view it as the beginning of responsible life because many of them would have been started her responsible life once they begun to earn their livings on their own…

Some of them view marriage as the beginning of the nowhere to escape disturbance and hassle of life…. It is the beginning of giving up the self-centered life to delegate some authorities to some other people to access his classified areas and sometimes to tire him with more troubles…

It is a natural idea which I don’t resist because it embodies the magnificent natural ability of a female to give…

However and after all, the community insists on depriving itself of the continuous giving ability of a wide majority of it using this unfair ages-model!!